Admission Essay
Review essay prompt #1 and original essay review notes, revise the essay (all attached) then edit or rewrite as needed
Sydney’s Personal Essay – Stanford Application Prompt 1
My life experiences and unique circumstances have shaped me into the person I am today. I am a daughter, sister, cousin, grand-daughter and student-athlete. My country of birth and my native language are a central part of my personality, however, because my father was born and raised in Germany, I can imagine a life much different. After my father finished medical school in Germany, he came to the United States to complete his medical training in Houston, Texas, where he met my mother. My brother and I have been blessed with a wonderfully typical American childhood. I often wonder, however, how my life, personality and experiences might have been different if I had been raised in Germany.
Imagining a life not lived is very difficult, but my exposure to German culture allows me to do just that. Would I be more reserved, always on time, and impeccably dressed, but fashionably conservative? These are stereotypes of the German people. These ideals do not describe me. Would I still be as passionate about education and women’s rights? Or fashion and gymnastics? When imagining a different life, I do not wish to shed these interests as they are who I am. I love advocating for young women. It was barely 100 years ago we gained the right to vote. If we forget this and take it for granted it could be taken away just as fast. Full autonomy and choice are also aspects of women’s rights that drive my love for fashion. Women have not always been able to wear what they want. It was also not long ago that women were expected to wear a certain level of clothing that to the empowered woman now seems ludicrous.
Likewise, being a student athlete should be my choice. I would not want to imagine a life where gymnastics and education were presented in a different manner. My life is so full and rich here that maybe I do not even want to imagine the difference. During visits to my grandparents in Germany, not only did the language sound less inviting, but also German people appeared more introverted and less expressive than Americans. My family is nothing if not expressive. We love gymnastics, among other sports, and we work hard, and we are not quiet about it. Women’s sports and education must be cherished for us to be equally represented.
I would not be the person I am today if I was born in Germany. I am sure that my life experiences and cultural influences would have altered much of my life. For sure my dream of attending Stanford would have probably been different. Would I be the same young woman I am today; would I still be an advocate for women’s rights, but also love fashion? These dichotomies make us American women who we are. I cannot imagine missing the opportunity I have to make unforgettable memories and lifelong friendships given the opportunity to become a student-athlete at Stanford.
One’s country of birth plays a central part in the development of someone’s personality, disposition and future opportunities. Being exposed to two different cultures certainly determined fundamental aspects of my character, my experiences, and of my personality. My fortunate upbringing has allowed me the unique opportunity to be born and raised in the United States but also hold close ties to my German heritage and culture. This exposure and appreciation for a different culture will greatly benefit me if I am given the opportunity to study at such an ethically and culturally diverse university as Stanford.
